I got myself thinking today. The one issue that keeps coming up to my mind is Silence. You know how many people craves for silence so that for once they can think, relaxes, focus and the yadaah yadaah yadaah... These whole week silence was my torturer. Silence was so deafening to me that i kept playing songs.. in my head.Silence made me think when i don want to. Silence make me feel when i don feel like it and silence widens the hole in me that is already wide enough to swallow an elephant.

I always do not understand when people says that silence is always good. I never really understood why silence sometimes is always good. It is never always good. Silence leave so much questions unanswered. It maime people, cripple lives and refusal to face the reality.

In my life, I had someone. All of a sudden, that someone left me in silence. No reasons or questions or anything. The someone just dissappeared from my life. Though i telll people i fine, I knew i not. I was scarred. It broke me.Paralyse me. For a while during those period i was angry but not knowing what i was angry at. It took me a while to get back on my feet and i finally put it to rest when i actually bump into that someone i ran after that someone wanted a closure wanting to know why? what happen? But that someone walked away... I never knew ... why that happen and though I have moved on.. Life just isnt the same. That chapter that Someone has someone made me lost myself.

Everyone say me being at my age 24 turning 25 (URGH) i am still young. I think too much and such. Sometimes the silence of it all makes me grows up faster than anything. The silence made me think and forces me to think of the consequences what might happen what might not happen. Can you not blame me for the overwork my mind does?

This week has been excrutiatingly hard for me. There is no words to describe how hard it been for me. I been losing sleep over it. Stress over it. I feel so tired sometimes i just feel like giving up. Sometimes i feel that when i wake up i more tired than i was yesterday. Is this a sign of depression. I have mood swings. SOmetimes i get to mad at myself for god knows what reason but i do. SOmetimes suddenly i feel so sad i don know why either. I haven been able to pin point much of anything. Lets just say, nowadays i looking at glass half empty rather than half full.

I want to confide but i somehow or rather nowadays don know how to. One leaving for a way way long time. Another has sort of been so busy sort of grown slowly apart. Somethings i just cant tell him anymore cause I just don think i can tell him.

All in all, I stressed. I Lost and I tired.