Your Gender Identity
Are You More Masculine or Feminine?

Fazil, you're 79% feminine

This is based on how you scored on a variety of traits that, founded on classic research and our own studies, are typically associated with women.You're also 21% masculine, which is based on how you scored on traits that are typically associated with men. When we compare your results with other men it shows that you are somewhat more feminine than other men.But what is gender identity exactly? A person's gender identity is defined by the extent to which they see themselves as masculine or feminine. Every person possesses both masculine and feminine qualities to some degree, however the extent to which each person has these qualities differs widely. While you were taking the test, we calculated your scores in 6 areas typically defined as masculine and 6 areas typically defined as feminine.

What Type Are You?
You are a Romantic
Your courtship philosophy is simple: No woman can resist being wined and dined. Some flowers ... a nice dinner ... a little soft music .... Face it, you're a Romantic. From opening the car door to asking for her permission for a goodnight kiss, your gentlemanly gestures make any woman feel just like a princess. You're not afraid to reveal the sensitive side of your personality, and the gals can't help but adore you for it. A little traditional? Yup. A little old-fashioned? Maybe so. But did a little extra doting ever hurt? Definitely not.

The Love Test
less romantic
more romanticOkay, so you're not a die-hard romantic who carelessly tosses around loving words, hopeful promises, and doting acts, but you do a pretty great job of expressing your loving feelings. Couplehood suits you to a T, and you like coming up with new, creative, non-mushy ways of showing your honey how you feel. You know very well that there are other ways to show love, respect, and admiration besides all that flowery mumbo-jumbo. Basically, you're passionately romantic without being excessively sentimental — practical, but also sweet and sensitive. Because no matter what, it's very important to you that your partner understands how much you care about her — you love how close you feel to her when you tell and show her what's in your heart.

Fazil, you're looking for a Soul Mate

Who needs a fling when what you want is the whole fairytale: long walks on the beach, up-all-night conversations, and watching sunrises/sunsets in each other's arms. You're probably a picky dater who doesn't connect with just anyone. Sure a strong intellectual streak, loyalty, and a great sense of humor are terrific selling points. But if your dates can't savor romance like you do, it might be the perfect match you're dreaming of. You're hoping to find your other half, that one person who can finish your sentences, someone who really 'gets' your inner emotions. And until you find them, you probably don't mind flying solo every now and then. That's because deep down, you know that being with the wrong someone is just an obstacle to being with your one-and-only. So even as you're reading this and thinking about how to find them, know that somewhere out there, they're probably wondering the same about you. It's just a matter of time.

Fazil, you tend to gravitate toward romantic partners who have a Secure attachment style.

People with a secure attachment style are warm, open and trusting. They are typically comfortable with themselves and show high regard for others. Attachment style begins in infancy with the interactions we have with our parents or primary caregivers. Through these early relationships we begin to understand the dynamics and patterns of close relationships and we carry this perspective into our adult relationships.Psychologists call your attachment style Secure. You tend to be an open and trusting romantic partner. You find it relatively easy to get close to people, and are generally comfortable depending on others. 10% of those who have taken our test share this style of attachment. Your answers on our test show that when it comes to relationships you have grown beyond your earliest attachment issues. While you may not have every issue resolved, you're making substantial progress at establishing healthy relationship patterns.

Fazil, a Romantic Gesture turns you on

Hey there, sweet thing! In affairs of the heart, your pulse pounds at the tender and enchanting moments. While you may not have it all mapped out just yet, the fairytale ending is what you're after and romantic gestures are a sure way to give you butterflies.It might be sweet notes, a bubble bath for two, a surprise getaway to your favorite B&B, or even just an extra spin around the block listening to your favorite love song. Whatever it is, romantic moments (and the thoughts behind them) turn you on. Sure, brains are important, a sense of humor is attractive, and you never said there was anything wrong with sexy underthings, but it's how your partner expresses their feelings for you that really lights your fire. How romantic!

I tired... both physically and mentally tired.. There are just too many things happening that i cant help but be tired.. My body needs rest i guess.. I tried having a proper nights rest but yet i still feel exhausted.. Sometimes I wonder is it the body of the brain that is making me feel so exhausted...

I feel hollow too. Maybe its those times.. I called it my menses where every nook and corner of my body just doesnt feel right. God only knows why.. It just so exhausting to get through today i feel. its only the beginning of the day yet i feel and behave like normally when the day ends. Right at this moment while typing these things out, my mind is contemplating to go see the doctor and get a medical cert so that i can rest and just relax today... My eyes are refusing to stay open.. My body feels rotten.. Everything today feels wrong.. DAMN!! I feel like just chilling out.. Resting... doing something none routine.. lying on my bed.. taking short naps.. quiet peaceful time...

Bottom Line : I AM TIRED!

Its the MONDAY blues.. striking again.. AT ME... DAMN these blues.. To make matters worse... Monday always carries with it work which is totally nerve wrecking, eye sore, immediate attention, irritating... list goes on (you get my drift). Since its from all over the world.. the damn difference in timing makes work spill from weekend to monday.. so its weekend emails up to monday emails... and THUS opening email on MONDAY IS A PURE TORTURING DRAG...

Let see.. a recapped of what i did over the weekend which up till now i feel so guilty... i shouldnt be spending and yet i did... First Saturday.. SPEND more than 20 bucks on a meal one.. secondly went karaoke spend another 20 thats FORTY!!! Yikes and recapped on friday met up with Graham.. a fren from UK and spend like another $15 bucks.. so let get on to Sunday.. SPENT 12 for the entry to ST JAMEs.. yes yes.. i went clubbing.. that makes it my second time this month.. which is still within my principles of clubbing once a month or twice a month at MOST.. ( hei i single what do u expect) well ANYWAY yeah and spend maybe 8-10 bucks for the cab fare back home.. so in just three days i SPEND about nearly $70 bucks.. for PURE ENTERTAINMENT YIKES... my checking accounts is going be SO haywired.. i SO SCREWED...

the only Consolation was i had good company of BRYCE and INDERA and GRAHAM (friday).. Well got to cut down on my spending.. I CONFIRMED hmm.. actually BOUGHT tickets for my one week to Indonesia with parents and SIS.. cant afford to go there poor.. hahaha.. Hmmm.. I STILL SINGLE AND VALENTINE IS COMING!!!!! DAMN DAMN DAMN.. another routine year of celebrating it ALONE.. SOB SOB!!!

Now Now you guys must be wondering what is the above picture about.. Well this was taken yesterday and it was the mos ardous, scary, trepidation and most intense moment of my life.. Of course together with my dear Best friend of 12 years. We both decided to just be a responsible adult and take what u you above.. which is ............................... TAADAAAHHHH... HIV test Kit....

It was at nite we both went to purchase the kitt.. and made our way back to the vehicle.. Inside the vehicle , we tear open the package and got ourselves prepared for it... It was a blood test and we had to do it ourselves.. so yeah.. after getting prepared laying all the items.. I took the step of stapling my finger to draw blood for samples for the test.. and yes after much gruelling of swapping with alchohol swap, stapling and filling in the Hole and getting it suffcient enough.. My partner in crime help me to drop the solution for the test and he held on to my results and held on to his..

I wasnt really worried about myself but you know the intense of it all is pretty scary. and well all goes well..AS you can see the result aka the pregnancy test kit... I am negative.. *Screams for JOY*.. In case you reading this is quite daft.. a double lines means a positive and a single means of course a negative (thats me) hehehe...

Now after reading this you might think me and my best frends are rampant sex activist or we been going on sex rampage.. but well not... we are not sex rampage on the contrary my dear best friend has the other half.. therefore we both do it as a form of support and also as a form of being responsible adults.. so at least we know...

So you out there.. there is no excuse for you to just test youreslf.. its a weight off your mind.. besides now that there is a self kitt.. how much more of a privacy do you want???

I am hurting... I am empty... Why does the heart comes with this pain sometimes that makes one feel so small and hallow that the significance of breathing becomes so hard because it deepens the pain and magnifies the hurt a million folds....

Why do I always come second to something? Why do i always stand outside the candy store looking in? Why is this fish always out of the water? Why do you out there make me feel so small? Am i so bad that there is always something better than me?

Why do you out there want to make me cold? Why does fate covers the sun that warms my heart? Why does the moon refuses to come out and stars refuses to shine bright? Am i destined to be standing here alone? Is the path i chose a mistake?

People tell me my time will come... Yeah.. my time.. its something that has been regurgitated to a point that its a blank shot.. Try telling a super fat person he slim.. its shoots point blank thats how i feel. As much as i try to get away from the complication of the emotions.. why? why do you come find me and fill me with thorns and bitterness that in the end bites me and turn me nasty? Is that how fate wants me to be?

Is it so difficult to find love? Is it tough to find someone? Why does this happens to me? Why do you bite me hard? Why do you lady fate trample me time and again? Dissapoint me time and again and brings a blow onto me when i just beginning to find my footing.. I want to be a kid again.. If I know my grown up life has so much pain and tribulations like this i wont want to grow up. Bring me to Neverland Let me live my dreams there.. Give me Pans Labyrinth anytime.

The List carries On:...

1. Hate Being the Impatient Me...

2. FAT FAT FAT

3. The Me being Self Conscious

4. The Ever tired ME

5. Super LOST CAUSE-- No Idea what happening

6. Me being the ever so GLUTTON

7. Super SINGLE

8. The one word that describe me sometimes : UNDESIRABLE

9. The great TEMPER i have.. Vouched by many..

10. the PRESENT (as of this date) ME

There is not much of rejoicing nowadays in my life. This email serves as another fanatical obsession I have of myself.. I growing fat and people around me noticed it.. Yeah i lament about it all the times.. You may call me self absorb or whatsoever but i deem it as a very important thing in my life.. I been through all my super skinny days and my super fat days. The last thing that i ever want is to go back to being fat. Once is enough to endure the rude, snide and even the occasional rude stares of me being fat.. I NEVER want to thread down that path ever again..
You may think i keep asking myself or others whether i am fat. It may be superficial to you but it is of upmost important to me. I exercise regularly. I work out i do this and that but curse this body of mine. its piling up its weight.. and i hit my 67 mark already. With accordance to the BMI, i overweight. LOOK at the term *overweight*. Its making me depressed lking at what i trying to acheive all this years has only been going one full round back to being the rotund me. I gaining back a size of me that i painstakingly lost.. WHat Wrong With my Body... why r u working Against ME?
Right now all the other alternatives seems so plausible.. so schemingly delicious and feels so right to do.. I getting paranoid, disgusted with myself and utterly maxed out with what become of me now.. The vocabulary words that were not meant to be spoken abt me has already come true.. *stocky* *fat* *bigger* *bulky*. basically i associated with words i do not want to associate myself with.

It is one of those days whereby there is an active surge in my postings to my frozen sanctuary. Now Now it is not that I have too much free time at work or that I am lazy.. Its simply just that i have some personal bees in my brain in which i need to attempt a way to release these bees from my brain and have time to concentrate more on the not so important things of life.

First and foremost, i screwed up big time at work. My first big screw up after 9 mths I am here. I guess my Assist Director must have got it from Big Boss. She lks like she had cried or something.I FEEL really bad. What makes it worse is no one scolded me. In fact she can nicely tell me we both need to work out a more effective manner to do the huge volume of work.*PENGZ* There was a bit of tension between me and here. She was less friendly towards me which is fine by me. I deserved it i guess..

Secondly work is going be kinda of like hell at the moment with the numbers of letters and PR needed to be done. The thing is I am the only one churning all these things out and etc. Here a rough list of what a part of my work does. Filing, drafting letters, photocopying letters, emailing and forwarding soft copies to overseas, updating the databases. These are the minor parts and well if you read it does seems manageable but try doing it for 188 times and each time u need to make 3 copies..

Argh... had to halt for a while. MY deputy director came and asked me if the table given was recent updated one. She wanted to make sure its recent one didnt and telling me about the mistake i made to be sure its updated and i quote " This is recent one right. Well you know we had our ears bitten off by the director about the previous case right" Sometimes i just wish they just scolded me instead rather then giving it to me bits by bits in smiles and harping it again and again.. *BIG SIGH*

Well enough about work. Let move on.. Love life.. pretty interesting aspect in my life at the moment. People emailing me wanting to get to know me.. Some even says i look delicious and desirable *PUKE* these people needs to have their eyes checked. Others just wanna know if i keen for a romp in bed. * Nottie thoughts* apart from that my love life is at a standstill. Nothing concrete.Very DULL. Very Boring.. No substantiate Characters.. No one interested in me to wanna have more.. So yeah.. Sorry to dissapoints u guys..

To those of you whom are attached and haven informed me yet. Those dearest of mine.. better report your strength to me hahaha.. Those who have reported good for you. Those who have reported late (you know who u are) better not let it happen again.Those of you who broke up.. Loads of hug and kisess from me.. u do just fine i know it.. Not that i am kay poh lah.. but these are my dearest and care alot abt you guys.. have your best interest at heart..

LOVe ya LOTS!!~

Well its tuesday and the residue from yesterday's monday blue still hangs in the air.. Its early morning and just realise I have received two bad news. One is i forgot to bring my thumb drive.. DAMN my work stuff are inside that Thumb drive. Secondly I just noticed i been scheduled for duty from 4.30pm till midnight on the First Day of Chinese New Year so much for clubbing and partying the night away. To make it worst my partner in crime for that day is someone i hardly or don even talk to. Its a mutual thing. Maybe there is nothing in common. Therefore I have to plan on what i am going to do on that day to keep myself occupied.

Ok now let see today my schedule is packed and actually the whole weekday I think I overbooked myself with many appointments. Even I was shocked with the number of appointments I have day in day out. Its no wonder why I feel so lethargic nowadays. I still do gym though don get me wrong but well too much travelling in Singapore makes me tired. Well appointments were made so yeah got to try to keep to them.

To you thats near me, I will try to go to work and see you and if I do, this time going make my skin thick and come up to you and pass you the sheet of paper that contains the message. I will this time try to muster enough courage to carry out this heinous act.

Well, life a drag.. single is the IN thing in my life now.. not that i chosen it but IT chose me. So much for looking forward to the coming Chinese New Year.. Now i not lking forward to it.. LIFE SUCKS.. to my neighbour who has nothing better to do than to patronise all those living on the same floor as you.. GET A LIFE!

Well I noticed my standard of english and my expression in my blog is way under compared to the likes of others whom expresses themselves well with eloquent words and beautiful expressions which I would have to say is very inspiring and very entertaining to read. Words were beautifully crafted and nicely put.. unlike mine *snigger* very amateurish.. but well i hope with time my blog gets more intelectual and stimulating for reading pleasures..

Well.. for once at least i gotten over my procrastination and had the pics (well some of them) posted up for the viewing pleasures of others.. No more procrastination. The thing is work has been taking quite a fair bit of my time nowadays. The new year is here and therein lies new work and new foundation and relations to build at work.. Nonetheless things has been going rather smoothly with an occasional bump but so far so good...

Indera had his celebration for his 24th birthday... Everything went slendidly well with minor hiccups here and there. Bryce having to spend his time working and all haven really had much of a holiday.. Me buzzing around with work and gym and nothing much in between..

I don know about others but hahaha.. it seems I haven got much of a life.. Though i plan to have a couple of meet up for meal sessions which might of course burn a hole in my pocket but well for good cause, making new bridges maintaining the old ones.. Like they say you never know when you need them.. help or no help i think its good to have people around you..

IF you wondering what i am doing yeah. I am eating snake right now at work attending to my blog rather than giving attention to work. I done my work actually its just the smaller insignificant part thats drives me off.. ah well..

Ok time to get backt to work..

MOOD : Lazy, Bored, YAwn.. you get the drift (Monday blues)

REUNION OF THE MONFORTIANS!!

Me... the photos below are the results of my procrastination from posting all the photos from the new year till now.. many more.. some are from zouk out of last year.. i know long overdue..

But then again..

Comments : I AM A CAM WHORE!!!! hahaha...

ME IN MY ROOM!!!

ME BRYCE INDERA!!

NANA

NEW YEAR!

ME & JAY!~