There is at some point of time in a person life where he felt he defeated. I feel like that now. Someone always been telling me to live each day as if its my last and that tomorrow never comes. I never fully grasp the idea of it but somehow i been doing it to the best of my capability.

Somehow or rather i feel like if it is my last then i live with quite a number of regrets. I been forwarding, accomodating and really listening to things but why rather then it working out i feel like i get slap back? Why is it so difficult?

"Y"

I cover your ass when you got into trouble. I save your skin. I came down to accompany you for your breaks as and when i can. I try to accomodate my timing to you. I ask you in advance and it was you who mentioned you want to go out, meet up and take it from there. A day where you overslept and didn meet up when i arrange to meet u near your place you tell me no need too late for you. You hardly or don reply to my sms on things i ask or sent to you. You don have time to meet me but have time for everything else. Your reply that you going to reply to me by end of the week, the end of the week never came..

*X*

I know and understand of your predicament of your work and all.You move around alot and i totally fine with it. Your efforts in your sms and calls have always been appreciated and treasured alot but your hot and cold treatment sometimes leave me baffled. I not someone who keeps asking for anything and i not the sort that rakes up the past. Sometimes my questions such as you sent the email? or when your next off day becomes a wrong question and like it seems i raking up things in which I am just asking? I been noticing that the answers from ok, to ok (see how), to maybe and recently i got was can we don talk about this? A wrong word spoken in which means nothing like "my dear" just a term and i got a snap remark from you. I always happy talking to you. I don have any expectations from you.

Basically "X" "Y", I feel that on one hand you like my company and can click but you just want it either from afar or just via the phone. Any work any kind of work will sure leave you with time, you all seems to have time for everything but even for a meal or a drink with me where i told you i accomodate to your time and even venue have always been turned down. Its not about you not having time i feel, its about you do not feel i am worth your time. As time passes i beginning to feel it more and more. If you do have some secrets that leaves this action you taking I hope you can tell me. I still love and adores your company be it by phone or just sms and chat.

But as i say i think i going to be just a simpleton and stop asking you and for meet up and etc. I shall refrain myself from asking and hope that you can one day find time to meet me.. meanwhile i just bask and enjoy in your company minus the actual seeing you in person.;