Friday, November 30, 2007

















I have live this year more fulfilling in terms of being healthy. Its two more days to my marathon run. It aint much i know i only going for the 10km run. But for a first timer and introduction to the world of marathon. I have come a long way from where i was.
From a guy who perpectually failed his 2.4 with a timing like 20 mins or less. I have now able to run 5km in half hour plus minus. Thats an achievement i guess.. Not to mentioned this is the fifth marathon i taken part in since the start of the year and i bet with you there are many more runs that i taking part. Marathons now is part of my exercise routine.
Well this run i going to try my best to run all 10km non-stop. I keep in mind the five dragonboaters who gave their life away.. Awe inspiring and sad to see them go.. The run will be for them. My own personal tribute to them : Running till i reach the end where victory awaits me always.. You guys will always be miss by your love ones.
So guys wish me luck for my run... to the five guys watch over us and see how i blaze the trails in your honour and remembrance..
I so excited to RUN...!!!!

Thursday, November 29, 2007


To dear readers,
I have never knew whether people read my blog or who have come to by blog to read my entries. Base on resources it seems there are people who read my blogs and of course had some inklings about my life.
My first and foremost thanks to you for taking your time to read about details of my life, things that i have gone through and done and my feelings and emotions that i have been experiencing in which are recorded in here.
Well, whatever notions you have of me or think of me i hope that don not fixate me to somethings that you assume base on info that fallen here.. This is no doubt me without any cover ups but yeah if reading this and you form some bad impression or that i less than a normal human being then it be better that you don read my blog at all..
It tough enough be trying to be who i am at work and outside and at the same time disguising myself. I tired of trying to please all of you.. If you found out things about me and that you are scared because i am unlike the common you then please leave my blog. I tired of trying to fit into everyone's model. No one want to be born or become certain things or what i call flaws in themselves.
I don judge you who are you to judge me and think of yourself as a higher more worthier being than me. You don get to know me then don assume of me and if you seen me and etc don act all uncomfortable and look at me with that expression cause it hurts.. although i don show it but it does.. in a world where modernisation is happening at every corner it is sad to see that backdated mind still exist..
I am judge by you at work by who i am. My moving up the career ladder is hinders by who i am not how i work.. I am judged by the people around me like i am a second class citizen, a nigger in a white environment. I seen many looks on your face and as much as i ignore me it does stings sometimes..
I don ask to be who i am. You think i ask to be like this? My last words before you judge me and acts towards me in the manner that reflects negatively put yourself in my shoe.. DO UNTO OTHERS WHAT YOU WANT OTHERS TO DO UNTO YOU.

Well i sent my Thank You SMS to all those who have sent me wonderful gifts and well wishes when i turned a century years old..
Here are the lists of name in no particular order :
Indera, Idah & Sam, Yan, ridzuan, Jay, Faisal, Jasmine, Claire, osman, Chiow Lin, SIong Chye & Fay, Andrew and Friend, kelvin tan, kelvin chua, Junyu, Anneson, Nasser and friend, victor, mummy, justin, thomas, sharain, kak Ati, Kak Titin, Mark, Gus, cammy, Kym, Sharyn, Ching Ching, Miryanto, Kak Murni, Juli, Ramona, Izmir, Kak Liza.
And everyone else who have done things for me and well wishes i appreciate it.. the gift from your hearts i keep it safe and well in my heart.. LOVE YOU LOTS!

Monday, November 26, 2007


Well My party begins with the dinner at Minottie courtesy of indera's planning and the generous chef and the GF, Yi wen and Chef Andri.. Had a splashing good time and laugh there with Junyu who drove me around in his MINI COOPER.. one cool car.. Jay who came down from his camp.. Idah from work and Indera and Yi Wen...

The later part of the evening was spent going to the movies with dear Jay and Indera watching the ever loved story of Enchanted.

Second Day spent my day nursing my raging migraine.. after which went to do my Hip Hop Class and lastly went on at night clubbing at PLAY with Indera and Jay.. The incident with the Germans were hilarious and had a good time dancing the night away..

Lastly on a sunday where my BBQ starts.. Most of the confirmed guest list came down and amidst the heavy rain that occur midway through the bbq.. all went quite well with many gifts.. i need to insert one more gift very special one from my lovable dearest sister who makes the cookies..

Thats the short summary of what i did over the last weekend.. The thank you posting will come in tomorrow.. PRomise as i got to go and sms them thanks for everything..





These pictures you see are the gifts that i have received from people i love who loves me back of course... here are the list :
A CK Tote Bag
A NUM Laptop bag
Braun Buffel Luggage tag
Cufflinks from cant remember brand
Nice Pink Polo Tee
A Casio swiming diving watch
A side pouch
Addidas latest sport set
Japs series swimming trunks
and few boxes of chocolates..
The thank you notes will come in the next blog.

This posting here will supercede my report on the birthday celebration that i had over the weekend. This heartbreaking news that i got during my BBQ is something that totally shocked and saddened me. It is truly and really sad to see someone to go so soon much less not one but five of them.
It was during my BBQ party that someone mentioned to me about the dragonboating incident that took place and had caused the lives of 5 Singaporean. What caught my attention was one of them was the Mister Singapore World 2006. The initial pique interest on the guys where mostly on the fact that he is some sort of a celebrity. SO the interest brought me to scourge for the news that had reported the incidents and what was the initial curiosity became something that touched me tremendously and one that left me in tears knowing someone great like him was lost at such an early age. Yes in matter of hours he click to my heart and have be bawling.
Mr Reuben Kee, Mister Singapore World 2006 was not just your regular jock. He is someone who has a deep passion for the arts particularly music. Despite his lean tall musculatory frame lies a sensitive heart that beats tremendously for people around him. His coaching to the kids in swimming, his motivations training his fellow school mates and his magical soft touch that brings many great tunes and composition left me in awe of this guy. A much living legend living right on this small island here where i reside. How can i not bawl my eyes out knowing that he is a regular guy that live and breathe the same air i did. We must have patronise the same Orchard road many times and now this guy who could have become something great is gone. His potentials no one will ever get to see. I read his blog his last entry seems like he knew something was wrong.
Well, I knew from reading that he wants to make an impact on the world and make changes for the world and impact people. Well in his life he did impact alot and whoever reads this and Reuben himself i want him to know that even in his death he has impact people. One person for sure he is impact me tremendously. In the spasm of just 23 years of his life, he has done so many things some people takes a lifetime to achieve. In 23 years many people were affected by him. Many people missed and love him.
I want to go away like that. I want to go away knowing that my life has impact many others. I want people to know me that i am someone who live life to the fullest and to the parents of Reuben my condolences for your lost. I cant imagine how you feel right now. Losing a son watching him grow and to have him leave before you must be a pain no parents should bear. My heart goes out to you. But your son has been a source of inspiration for many and more to come.
This is my tribute to you Reuben Kee. You will always be a source of inspiration for me. Trust me big changes will come my way and you will be someone i look up to. You shall see. Rest in peace. My condolences to the other 4 dragonboaters who have lost your lives. It is really waste and sad to see life wasted at such a time where your talents and gifts coul have benefitted many people.
May god always be with you.

Thursday, November 22, 2007


Today is the eve of my birthday and what is suppose to be the entry done this morning is done late night half hour before i officially turn a quater century years old. Yes.. The sign here is the birth of the sagitarius sign which ahem happens to fall on the day of my birthday so yes i am a half centaurian and half human.. So adequately i am half beast so the wild side of me has the attribution from the sign in which you behold.

Well tomorrow starts the big celebration with the dinner at Minotti... I am definitely going to have my tagiliatale with my king scallops and beef carpacio hahahaha.. IDAH is going to be so jealous.. and of course my all time fav apple pie.. HMMM not sure if i should sink my teeth into the gellatio ice cream after all it is fat free. hahaha the less guilty i feel the lesser time i spend in the gym..


I think Indera is getting me the Calvin Klein bag that i want and i gettin my hellgate london from Bryce.. I got a printed T from Sharain and lots of other stuff.. so yeah.. right now i am in the middle of a conversation witha new found friend.. so yeah.. well that is for now.. i will post the MInotti photos tomorrow and i wil update on my Marathon that is coming soon.. :P

Wish me luck and FAZIL HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

Wednesday, November 21, 2007


Well two more days to my birthday... the official 25 years of age.. but life been much better today. Not feeling so lousy. The good gift i got so far is this list below..
My dear beloved Sister : Thank you for tha lovely cardigan.. u know how much i want that... lol
Sharain & family : thank you for the lovely floral print shirt which i sure.. i will use on my party..
Mom and Sister : Thanks for that nice outing by the beach.. love the spending time together...
johnathan Benson Avila : Thanks for coming back into my life.. Thanks for the promise you made.. though small it meant a lot. The friendship and you means alot to me :P love you always..
Idah /Yan/Kak M & working family : Love ya guys to bits thanks for all the support..
There will be many more thanks blog to come but until then these are the few i can remember...
CHEERIOS!!!

Tuesday, November 20, 2007





The pics taken 17 Nov 07. Another Cam whoring days in Macdonald though courtesy of photographer Indera Putra. I look so MAT i know.. very malay beng but who cares.. haha My first day out wearing the shawl since its the IN thing now.. Had a good spending time with Dear Jay and Indera..
Feeling lousy still now that its three days away from my official 25 years of age. For some strange reason i looking forward to the sunday bbq because a couple of very important people in my life is going gather together at the bbq. thats is by far the sweetest deal i have for the coming birthday celebration. It does fill me with a tinge of sadness to know that those beautiful young days of mine are practically gone.. Well everyone path cross someday again i sure but in the meantime i just feel like its a quarter of a century and i felt like i achieve nothing in the life.
I wonder if where i am now is where i planned to be at the age of 25. Have i acheive things that i wanted? Am i still in limbo? Where do i wanna be I am not sure anymore. I am now at a cross road in my working life? Do i quit to try to do something which is more what my interest lies and do i stick to a job because i need the money to pay off other things? I consulted mommy on it and mommy do what you think is best for yourself? What is best for me?I feel kinda lost right now..
I met Kevin a long time friend and a boss whom I have admired for his work ethics and charisma in work. His questions about what i want to do kinda hit me for a while there.. What do i want to do? What exactly am i seeking for? Right now i don even know what i want to do? I lost..
What going on?
*SCREAMS FOR HELP*

Monday, November 19, 2007

Today is the 19th November 2007. I left with four days before i officially turn 25 leaving behind the number 24 forever. It just seems like yesterday i was celebrating my 23rd birthday and wah Lah before you know it i am two years older than i last remember.
Well in the case where time never waits for no man.. this is the scenario.. I guess once you start working you be so busy with work that you forgot everything else and then before you know it time passes you by fast..
I am sick today. I guess its been quite a while and finally my body aint strong enough to fight against it. So far its been good and great until today where i finally fall ill. Its the common flu. PLENTY of FLUID lost through my nose.. Umpteen amount of tissues are being used and boxes too thanks to my running tap nose that has loads of fluids lost and crazy.. its getting on my nerves and my nose is stil red and sore.. what to do..
Tomorrow will be going back to work.. SIGH.. sad sad sad.. so tiring man.. thing going to go to sleep soon.

Friday, November 16, 2007


Past next friday and i will be officially a quarter century years old. Just like the picture i wish i can put a stop sign as and when i feel like and have that work for me. The sad part of it all this is what i would call as a wishful thinking on my part. There going be gatherings over a few days celebrating my one more year older.
Somehow i din relate any of this to my friends that rather than feeling elated i feel rather subdued and down actually and it gets so now that its drawing nearer to my official quarter century years old. Don get me wrong i enjoy all this small miracles of life ( Royston if you reading this yes i do read your motivational emails that you send me) i am thankful for every breath i take that keeps me awake the next day.
But somehow i just feelmy life seems fleeting and its becoming apparent that somehow along the way many things are beginning to not fit for me. It does not feels comfortable for me anymore. I getting lost to be honest. I welcome silence, imaginary world of mine that i created every night before i go to sleep on my bed. Yes, i do those things these imaginaries scenarios that i created for myself sort of to comfort myself. I don know its not that things around me are dark and bad times. I 25 years old yes i am still young but i seen enough and sometimes my life just have blockages that makes it difficult for me to do what i want to...
Life is fleeting and you got to make the most of it. I believe i am trying. I doing all i can but each day each time i feel somewhat as if i achieve nothing of much that i feel hei! i did a good thing today i achieve something.. Like trying on sizes so far things are either too big or too small.. Work is fine, its getting pretty laid back now that most of the important stuff are done and over with.. but yet now i at work i don feel so good, the stares i get from people, the ignorance look i get.. the no apparent !@#$%^ face i get from people.. I tired of being politically correct all the time at work.. To ask becomes not proactive, and when proactive we are told to do some judgements; so to act on it or not to act on it becomes more of a battle i do everyday at work.. its tough when you have to adapt to so many frequent changes of people around you and it just bores you down.. i do feel demoralised at work.. think its time to change...

My personal life well what can i say is as that is waiting for an absolution.. what i am waiting for i do not know... everything is so trancient and i don know where each of them heading.. but with signs and telltales its leading no where with anyone of them i am in contact with..

People say growing up is a pain.. somehow i feel its not pain sometimes it can be excruciating.. there are of course at times where its feels like heaven.. i am 25 years old.. life gets complicated and it gets entangled more and more as years gone by.. life screws us up or we screw lifes up either ways we are screwed..

Mood: Melancholy (listening to Casper's Lullaby)

Tuesday, November 13, 2007






Isnt she just adorable... by baby niece.. well i paid tribute to her sister and brother so i thought she should grace my blog as one of the cutest one important in my life.. These three rascals are my darling babies...
Love them to bits..
What u think cute right? so Photogenic lafff!!!





Here are some of the pics i took during my marathon.. think its called the Civil Service Marathon.. only 4.4 km but the route abit tough upslope and downslopes all the way.. abit irritating hahaha.. but well i did it again YEAH! Yeah! Yeah!... Yes those of you who knows me.. i not a runner person but this year i completed 3 marathons with my last one coming end of the year the Standard Chartered RUN!!! 10KM Yikes! So I have been training for the big EVENT!!! so yeah... me a health running freak NoW!