There is not much of rejoicing nowadays in my life. This email serves as another fanatical obsession I have of myself.. I growing fat and people around me noticed it.. Yeah i lament about it all the times.. You may call me self absorb or whatsoever but i deem it as a very important thing in my life.. I been through all my super skinny days and my super fat days. The last thing that i ever want is to go back to being fat. Once is enough to endure the rude, snide and even the occasional rude stares of me being fat.. I NEVER want to thread down that path ever again..
You may think i keep asking myself or others whether i am fat. It may be superficial to you but it is of upmost important to me. I exercise regularly. I work out i do this and that but curse this body of mine. its piling up its weight.. and i hit my 67 mark already. With accordance to the BMI, i overweight. LOOK at the term *overweight*. Its making me depressed lking at what i trying to acheive all this years has only been going one full round back to being the rotund me. I gaining back a size of me that i painstakingly lost.. WHat Wrong With my Body... why r u working Against ME?
Right now all the other alternatives seems so plausible.. so schemingly delicious and feels so right to do.. I getting paranoid, disgusted with myself and utterly maxed out with what become of me now.. The vocabulary words that were not meant to be spoken abt me has already come true.. *stocky* *fat* *bigger* *bulky*. basically i associated with words i do not want to associate myself with.