This entry today is different from the ones that was previously posted. This blogs today comes from me today. I just came back from Shanghai yesterday. Work got me there to see the great wonders China now has become. No wonder China has taken the centre stage for the world in every aspect from politics to business.. Enough about China. My next few postings will bring you the highlights of what i went through in Shanghai the new cosmopolitan city...

Today i spent the whole day at home.. alone... after that short stint alone in Shanghai and away from home and after spending time alone at home.. somehow I sorted certain aspect of my thinking.. Nowadays to sit and have my brain to work its pretty hard.. I learnt a great deal of things these last two weeks.. I spend it with 14 strangers whom work in the same building but never bonded or even talked to.. However being around strangers i was forced to step out of my circle and to step up and learn to manage my new circle of comfort.. its funny how i have to be myself and yet at the same time hide some aspect of my life that has to be kept hidden due to the nature of work iteslf and other personal matters... As much as advance society and world has move some things just will never proceed and move... right in front of my eyes.. i seen it and heard it.. as much as my heart sank.. living the life and being around you learnt to accept swallow and live around it and try not to let it gets you down...

Life itself has its many tribulations.. One has to know when to rise up to challenge it and which to back down and let it pass you by. I learnt a great deal about how to carry oneself in an environment where you be accepted only to a certain extent. The world can be vicious.. each one of us has to learnt to be both the predator and the prey. Studying the surrounding you are in, you learnt to know which boundaries are meant to be kept at an arms length which one are to kept as close as possible. It was clear to me for the past two weeks that many a things are beyond my control and work wise its better to keep things at an arm length.

Its hard to work your way up prove your worthiness yet at the same time not losing yourself. Keeping it up is a great chore and great discomfort. Pleasing others and yet keeping your dignity and rights is a difficult balance. One has to learnt how to adapt to it. strike a balance one may say. However the words itself i feel runs deeper.

Balance is never equal in anyone's eye. What poison to one may be honey to others. Balance isnt about striking the correct measurement however balance is about striking the best that fits and tailor exactly to each other's interest. One thing i learnt is that in life itself you got to learnt to be able to act and at times be relax and just come out of the shell and just be yourself. There is nothing wrong with shirking from being who you are at times if the benefits itsself balance itself out for oneself. Not telling the full truth doesnt makes one less of a person if the weight of truth brings more harm that it does good.

Today staying home watching my Grey's Anatomy, Lord of the rings and i not stupid brings many a perspective to me. How each of these seems to convey its message to me on life itself, the power of hope faith and believe and that how some teachings from past or present doesnt always tailor to getting things right... How words and actions brings benefits far more that what one think and that how with hope and confidence and believe one can reach the peak...

Life is all about striking a balance that best benefit the interest of oneself and its surrounding. I seen someone from my past who walks out on me just like that. I ran after the person wanting to know why that person walks out on a relationship in silence leaving me with all the questions mark.. At a crossroad joins a car came and halt me there... As i stood there watching the person walk on, i realise that its a past that never come back.. I realise in this case i dint turn my back on the person.. The person turns his back on me.. I did my best to make it work and the person chose to gave up.. I gave my all what more could i have done.. if it fails its not me its the person.. i turn and walk back only to realise at the glimpse i saw the person turn back.. Though i went back with many memories and all, i felt refresh because i knew i was able to walk with no regrets.. i don need a reason to know why the person left me because there isnt one i want because i know its the person choice.. and if its anything about me.. thats who i am i gave my best.. NO REGRETS..

One flaw that i have noticed in me is i beginning to be very big on myself.. i need to learnt to lower myself and be more humble.. I will need to work on that.. and REMEMBER i need to be more positive thinking and more positive talking.. always remember " A bad apple isnt a bad apple whole.. if you throw away there is nothing left.. if you cut away the back one the good ones will shine and still has its worth..

Everyone of us has an angel and devil.. Seek the angel out and its strength will shine and flew way high for all to admire...