Tomorrow is the end of 2006 and thus here comes the last entry of my rambling here on my blog. The frozen Sanctuary has been a place where my thoughts and feelings for the day has been recorded and things that i wish to speak or bring up. Today the day went by pretty uneventful.. The good thing was i finally settled for my bed for my room HURRAH! I went to the gym alone which has become quite a norm nowadays and had a good work out considering i been sick for the longest time.. DARN the weather..
Well after that met Bryce and Adrian.. It was nice spending time with them though they were LATE.. but ok lah.. Indera apparently work nite n didnt inform us until when i ask abt wat time meet in the day then did we know..

I worry about tomorrow... Its the countdown and my gut feeling tomorrow countdown will be a dreadful one for me just like when 2006 began. First and foremost at LAST my countdown is again spend being single alone.. Up till now there isnt any plan yet as to how me indera bryce and adrian going to countdown. Apparently Bryce and adrian has some friends gathering for pre countdown party or something.. Indera is working and well.. i be busy with the hari raya festivities but other than that i am alone.. and since the nite i guess the countdown is going to be another last min plan.. I just don feel good... I might though just skip it all and all at least i won be so miserable...

I guess Just now while out with Bryce and Adrian.. Bryce sense my lost feeling and uneasiness and something wrong with me.. I can see it in his eyes.. I don know i just feel something missing from me.. Some hollow feeling and well somehow going out with them and all amplifies this weird hole in myself... As much as i appreciate their company and welcome their company somehow.. i don know just feel weird abt myself i guess.. Somehow or rather as much as I am comfty arnd them.. i just feel out of place i guess.. maybe cause they are a couple and its feels funny too because Indera not there.. Nowadays Indera always not around.. I kind get use to the fact that Indera not arnd much anymore... and its notnice sometimes i feel when i talk abt the past and Adrian has no clue to it.. Whatever it is its not a good feeling.. i guess.. i just prefer to blend in to the surrounding instead... Somehow being noticed isnt something i prefer nowadays..

Maybe what makes it feel weird is because somehow going out with Bryce and Adrian.. it remind me of wat happen when Bryce was with Kenny... Maybe tats why it brings back kinda not nice memory... the whole feeling of being lampost extra and watsoever nots.. Somehow weird thing is i find solace in my room alone.. 2007 coming and i don know wat in store for me.. The whole day today worries me that tomorrow is going be the same... it seems everything is not plan.. so.. if at the last moment.. everything falls out of place.. then i just not going to countdown anymore.. Ignorance is bliss sometimes..

One thing that i very happy is my best fren finally found someone whom can love him back.. Thats great! the guy great too... very attentive and caring despite his age.. And honey.. don worry about ppl saying abt the luck thing and etc.. Don worry.. ppl are just wanting to be in your shoes.. u know how nasty the green eye monster can get.. Trust me i heard more comments about u being hot then being the lucked out to get someone hot yeah! I think you know this better than i do.. Your partner doesnt seems to care or mind it a bit. and as far as i can see his eyes are set on you.. so basked in it knowing u loves u for who u r my dear..

I guess somehow this year i found out alot abt myself and until now i think no one really knows me anymore.. haha... i been keeping so much now to myself that many a thing even indera and bryce don know and i don intend to tell.. i don know.. I guess at the end of the day they always be there for me.. but well most of the other times i have me myself and I.. I have myself to depend on to whatever obstacles that comes my way.. i don know but let just see wat 2007 brings.. At least let me have the hope that 2007 brings much mirth joy and happiness and stability...

Wish me luck! i need it i sure.. Help me find what this gaping hole is all about wat can i do to satisfy this hole...

Feeling : Lost* which part of me did i lost?